Sunday, 13 November 2011


          One of the best things that I can't recommend enough is swimming. I think because it's a solitary thing and it isn't competitive against yourself. I love to swim, it makes me feel free and safe and it's a relaxing thing to do.

          That's not me but I love that picture and I love how big that pool is. Oh and by the way you get two posts this week as I didn't get my act together last week. But I will totally post next week. I really want to go swimming now!  

Martin Amis is a sexist twit

          I was recently reading an article in the F-word and this particular article referenced Martin Amis. For the full post go here: 

         The quote that really made my head explode was this: ' wasn't in their nature.' He is talking about women in this context. I just don't understand why anyone would think that.

          First of all are we really going down the route that we have natures? Psychologists are still having the argument about nature vs nurture. I think we can all agree that it is both, biology and environment.

          Second, you are idiot Mr Amis for sweeping an entire 3.5 billion of the population by their sex. Is it also true that sex is automatically in the nature of men? That for me is very problematic. I think we all know that he isn't saying that, he probably means the women he has met, that still calls into question that you are speaking for people who I am sure like sex and want sex, you entitled, privileged idiot.

          Third what kind of sex are we talking about? Is he saying that women don't masturbate or enjoy orgasms? Or is he saying from the male point of view that penis inserted into vagina is sex? I personally would like for people to rethink what the idea of sex is. It is entirely too independent on whether the male is satisfied, whether the women is satisfying to a man.

          I don't think that aids sex at all for either people involved, or five if that floats your boat. Can I just say it can be fun, awful and hard all at the same time. We all want to please the other person, and communication can be extremely helpful and it isn't scary. But enough on my sex advice (just have a good time and talk to each other or yourself for self pleasure). 

          The comment that sex is different for men and women may be valid, but I don't think it's the right question to ask, nor is it relevant. I want to have discussions about why rape culture is still with us and to bring equality to how women are paid. I want to talk about vibrators, and what are the best books to read and how to reclaim the night. I want to have long talks about feminism and to talk about how to answer sexism. 

          I wish most of all that people would stop dividing us by sex lines. It is archaic. I wouldn't have been so angry if this view hasn't been taken over and over again and given credence. The most important thing is that people keep challenging it and that we keep having books and blogs written about feminism. In conclusion Martin Amis is a sexist asshat, and feminism and logic rules.


Terry's Chocolate Orange

          Orange and chocolate two things that were made to be together. And this is examplified in this:

          Just looking at that, yum. It is added theraputic value that you really do have to smash it in the foil that it comes with to get to break apart. It also personally reminds me of Christmas as we all had these in our stockings, and not oranges. The main thing is that it is delicious to eat.


          There is a quote from Eat, Pray Love that appeals ‘ruin is a gift.’ Lucy has talked about being Towered before and it is linked (Lucy March from the Bettyverse). The idea of ruin spoke to me because of the thought that it leads to transformation, it is awful but eventually you accept ruin.

          A thing I believe in, or did believe in until I realised that I am just in ruin. The book discusses the idea of staying with someone and being unhappy because the alternative is too awful. The idea of being together and making it work despite the fact that both of you are unhappy shows a logic. The underlying emotion that is guiding you to that decision for me is fear.

          I think I just realised that I do this not that I am in a relationship but that my life has halted. I am afraid of taking risk, and don’t want to fail. That is the real fear of taking a step into something different that alters my behaviour. I am stuck in behaving in the same way as I am scared of what happens when I do things differently. It’s incredibly difficult to admit when you are scared, fear can be good but fear of what others think of you can be the most dangerous as it prevents you from doing anything.   

          I don’t want to be miserable, I want good things for me. It’s just hard. I am tired, so tired, from the struggle. I know that the only solution to this is to try and go for new things, to accept that I can. I have a part of me that doesn’t want to. The death drive in me that likes self destruction, that wants to lie in bed and not engage in the world.

          I think the reason that change is so hard for me at this time, is that the reference to when I was happy seems a long time ago, not only that but it’s almost a denial. I need to be what I was before as that way leads to happiness. This really is the route to self deception. Doing the same things, having the same behaviour does not make the past come back it just means you not giving yourself a chance to succeed or fail.  

          I cannot be what I was before, I have changed and the world around me has too. I am a different person, and I think that is the key issue here. I am different and in order to exist in a world that has changed I have to have change the way I am.

          In the end ruin is a gift. A gift to myself to show that I am strong enough to rebuild my life. It shows me misery is not a default setting, that I can do things. It really is a gift once I stop being mesmerised by the carnage and rebuild.